Umbrella
A Journal of Poetry and Kindred Prose


Jennifer Saunders

is an American living in Bern, Switzerland, with her Swiss husband and their two Swiss-American sons.

Her poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in Literary Mama and ouroboros review.


—Back to Orsorum Contents/Issue Links—

The Great White Shark Writes a Letter to the Editor
of the International Herald Tribune

Dear Sir or Madam:

In regard to your article
“Hunting in shadows,
great white sharks behave
like serial killers,”
allow me to say:

I am what I am,
I don’t deny that.
I eat when I’m hungry
and I’m hungry a lot
and I like it fresh and bloody.
I like what I like,
I don’t deny that.

But I’m no John Wayne Gacy.
If I prey on the small
and the solitary, well,
you try catching a full-grown seal
and then tell me you wouldn’t
prey on the small as well.
I eat what I eat,
I don’t deny that.

But I’m no Jeffrey Dahmer.
I take what I need
and I don’t keep trophies.
If I feel no remorse,
then neither do I derive
crooked pleasure from what I do.
I do what I do,
I don’t deny that

But I’m no Ted Bundy.
I am not sly or manipulative
and I never dissemble.
Nor do I make
a movie star of my fears
or a tabloid hero
of my own worst self.
That’s your department.