by The Purdy FamilyThe name of the badger’s renowned
For being at once verb and noun,
Which is true of the bear—
Though the usage is rare.
At any rate, that’s what I’ve found.
A goat, I am told, will eat tin.
Almost nothing cannot pass his chin
And his teeth and his gums.
Look out! Here it comes!
Says his tummy, and takes it all in.
There was an old horsie named Lou
Who died and was boiled into glue.
When you lick your next flap
Remember this chap
And what he has given to you.
Now the mandrill’s a colorful bloke,
With a chin that looks dipped in egg yoke.
And his nostrils—it’s true!—
Are striped red, white, and blue.
Evolution has played us a joke.
Some monkeys have tails; some do not.
Do you think it’s some kind of dark plot
That some monks are missing
This marvelous blessing?
Is it possible God just forgot?
There once was a moose named Gregorious
Whose singing was far short of glorious.
He sang way off key
And with uncontrolled glee
In a voice that was simply stentorious.
There once was a lone polar bear
Who wished to be half of a pair:
Like Cagney and Lacey,
Like George and his Gracie,
But mostly like Rogers/Astaire.
I once bought a pig in a poke.
The seller thought it a great joke
When I took back the sack
And said, Pity poor Jack.
My money’s all gone; I’m flat broke.
The porcupine signals Stand clear!
With spines that protect front and rear.
But those who run stop signs
And tiptoe through land mines
Might cuddle this creature, I fear.
There once was a reindeer named Jake
Whose antler developed an ache.
His dentist said, Shoot!
If I charged by the foot,
Just think of the money I’d make.
As an orang is kin to gorilla
As peppermint’s close to vanilla
As warm is to hot
As a stain is to spot
A vischaca is like a chinchilla.