Umbrella’s lighter offshoot

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by Jim Hayes

Two hillbillies sit in a bar drinking the local brew.
A woman nearby starts to cough—she’s been eating a venison stew.

Her eyes are popping, her face is red, it’s apparent she’s in distress.
One of them turns to her and says “Yer in some trouble I guess.”

“Kin ya’ swaller?” he asks; she shakes her head, indicating no.
“Kin ya breathe?”  Now blue, she gives the same answer to him, so

he walks across, lifts her dress and bends her over with ease
and before she knows it pulls her panties down around her knees.

In a circular motion over her butt he runs his tongue on the cheeks—
the woman goes into spasmodic shock which continues until it peaks,

dislodging the deer meat in her throat and she can breathe again.
He puts her down and slowly walks back to his crony, then

he takes a swig, his partner says; “It was good fer her that ya knew it—
that ‘Hind-lick Maneuver’ I’d heard of all right, but never seen nobody do it.”

Jim Hayes has appeared in First Things, Iambs and Trochees and various on-line publications; he has been a featured poet in Light Quarterly and won the Willard Espy award for Light Verse.  His first collection The Bad Habits of Little Boys, illustrated by Janet Kenny, will be published shortly by Clock & Rose Press.