Sentient Creatures
{A Bumbershoot Special Feature}


Juleigh Howard-Hobson

Along with being one of the lucky humans allowed to confer every possible creature comfort upon Princess the cat, above, Juleigh Howard-Hobson has won the prestigious Australian ANZAC Day Award for poetry and been a finalist for the 2006 Morton Marr Poetry Award.

Her work has recently appeared in Lucid RhythmsThe Barefoot Muse, Mezzo CamminThe Raintown Review and Strong Verse

She lives in the inspiring grey of the Pacific Northwest with her family . . . and Princess.


—Back to Bumbershoot Contents—

Advice Feline-ious Comprising 10 Points To Live By For All Aspiring House Cats

ONE—
Cat food: shun cheap stuff, starve if you will;
Don’t eat it, don’t sniff it, treat it as swill.

TWO—
Sitting: seek black clothes, if you are white;
Sit on white clothing, if black as the night.

THREE—
Houseplants: eat them, one leaf at a time;
Hack up the chewed bits as green tinted slime.

FOUR—
Inside/Outside: go outside/come in.
If they ignore you, stick claws in a shin.

FIVE—
Beds: lie on pillows, never on feet,
Cats need their comfort when falling asleep.

SIX—
Co-pets: remember, it’s gleefully wrong,
When folks are watching, to not get along.

SEVEN—
Fussing and fighting and spraying spray
Mean trips to vets and things taken away.

EIGHT—
Litter boxes: accept and use those;
While not neglecting spots “under the rose.”

NINE—
Flea and tick collars: chew them to bits;
Or act like you’re choking, though they may fit.

TEN—“The Favorite”: it’s the only spot
That we cats should aim for, worthy or not.