Umbrella’s lighter offshoot

Karen Greenbaum-Maya

is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Claremont, California. She started writing when she was 9; she resumed in 2007 after an 18-year dry spell. 

Among her credits are The New Verse News, O Tempora! O Mores!, Superficial Flesh, The Dirty Napkin, and Lilliput Review.

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About the Author Or—Not even an epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot

Like Proust, I’m not inventive.
Like Henry James, I’m fat.
Like Melville, barely published;
Like Eliot, I’ve a cat.

Like Stevens, I do other work;
Like Jarrell, write in prose.
Like Thurber, I don’t see too good;
Like Shakespeare, I wear clothes.

Like Kafka, I remember dreams;
Like Shaw, pontificate.
Love Paris just like Baudelaire;
Like Henry Roth, I’m late.

Like Freud, I must have enemies.
Like Gilbert, I’m not glad.
Like Wilde, I’m snide but tactless.
Like Sylvia Plath, I’m mad.

Like Schiller, I like apples;
Like Tolstoy, I’m no fun;
Like William Blake, can’t catch a break;
Like Reverend John, I’m donne.