Umbrella’s lighter offshoot

Sherry Chandler

is the author of two poetry chapbooks, Dance the Black-Eyed Girl (Finishing Line Press) and My Will and Testament Is on the Desk (FootHills Publishing).

Her work has appeared in Spillway, Wind, The Louisville Review, and Umbrella.

She has received grant support from the Kentucky Arts Council and the Kentucky Foundation for Women.


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A Weighty Problem A good support bra is invaluable. my doctor

All right, all right, I know a good support
bra is an invaluable asset.
Could you write me a prescription for one,
doctor? D cup or double D. I dreamed
even heaven was reserved for Maiden-
forms, countless clouds floating with flat-chested
girls, long-legged galaxies of gaunt glamor
Horse nebulae of hunger dream silicon
implants, collagen injections. What god
jiggled, giggled, and guffawed at that joke?
Knock-knock. Who’s there? Knockers but what’s the punch
line? Same as the pick-up line, viz, I love
my wife, but thanks for the mammaries. Mast,
nipple, nibble, a nib, a milky point
of view, while the goggle-eyed ogler gloms
pneumatic bliss, spirit made palpitant
quick flesh among us, Quonset-hut racks, quaint
ranks of matronly bosoms, nurturing
stopcocks to a nation, salute the flags,
take to the ramparts, whalebone-armored breasts
uplifted. I find such upkeep too dear.
Vive Vanity Fair, Victoria,
Warner, Bali, and cross my underwired
xiphoid process with Playtex. Write a scrip,
young doctor, perfect support for yearning
zaftig women, zealots of razzmatazz.