Web Feet
{A Bumbershoot Special Feature}

Scot Slaby

wishes he knew how to quit the Internet.

His work has appeared in Unsplendid 2.3.


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We gave and got a lot of stuff for free
by signing up to join this Yahoo! group
whose members offer swag like Chicken Soup
for Preteen Souls
, a net bed canopy,
a compost bin, a skeleton, a knee
brace (slightly used), old Pulmicort for croup,
a Breadman Ultimate, a chicken coop,
the Kama Sutra, toy Nativities . . .
all stacked on top of one another, proof
crap coexists quite naturally online.
We’ve grabbed enough to make our lives complete-
ly junked. Want shingle rippers for the roof?
You don’t need them. Resist. Be strong. Decline:
refuse to reuse refusehit Delete.