Seriously Funny
{A Bumbershoot Special Feature}

Rick Mullin

is a journalist and painter whose poetry has appeared in several print and online journals including The Lyric, The New Formalist, Contemporary Sonnet, and Light Quarterly.

His poem “Shrine to Satan” was nominated by The Shit Creek Review for a Pushcart Prize. His chapbook Aquinas Flinched was published this year by Modern Metrics.

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Love in the Time of Viagra

Cobalt phthalocyanine, oral tablet,
Demonstrate that blockbuster payload thingy—
Nanovessel chemistry pumps the holy
Ark of the mandrake.

Stake me to Erotosphere, Father Pfizer,
Pimp predictability, automatic.
Antiseptic surgery? Yeah, we got it.
Time in a bottle.

Who’d have dreamed a cardiac also-ran could
Jump the unreliable genitalia?
Look again! This clinical trial failure’s
Destined for glory!

These unlikely side effects won’t deter me:
Hypertension, blindness, and solipsism.
Auto-buzz emergency if it takes me
Over the limit.

Sign your name, litigious domestic partner—
Check the pharmaceutical group disclaimer.
Punch the clock and swallow it hard. It’s come to
Money or nothing.