Umbrella’s lighter offshoot

James Gonda

lives in Vestal, New York.

His work has appeared in Triplopia, Clockwise Cat, and Admit2.

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Questions for the Day

The question was: how much time went by after death yet before rebirth?
          Was it fast, like microwave popcorn, or much longer? So I asked around.
          A Hindu friend said it was instantaneous while his father mumbled
          it took years. The good people at Grace Redemption Church of Our Lord
          & Savior, Incorporated, said there was no such thing as rebirth—
          at least physical rebirth—and I was on the wrong track. Overall, most
          didn’t know. The lady-clerk at the DMV told me to try Google.

The question was: since the brain rids itself of junk through dreams,
          should I ignore them completely? A lady walking her Lab past my house
          said everything in dreams was symbolic and Wal-Mart sold books on dreams,
          while another ignored my question and kept jogging. My Aunt in Ohio,
          with whom I spoke by telephone, reminded me that angels spoke to people
          in dreams, a long time ago and only on important subjects. Overall, though,
          most didn’t know. One of the sandwich makers at Subway said to write
          Dear Abby.

The question was: when could we phase out linear time and start circular time?
          Mr. Chang, my acupuncturist, said right now! After all, time already moved
           in a circle. My neighbor groaned it would cost too much and jabbed me
          with his finger. The same folks at the aforementioned Grace Redemption
          Church said time was moving towards a showdown between good and evil,
          straight-away, and was unstoppable. By the end of the day, most didn’t know.
          Our cat, Cosmo, misheard linear time as dinner time and meowed for food.